Years ago, Albert Brooks described performing a stand-up comedy routine before a young adult audience. He was bombing. No laughter. Then chants for the headliner, the late Richie Havens.
Desperate, Brooks had an idea. He decided to holler a cuss word, “S–t!” The crowd went wild. He’d won their hearts and the night.
It was that simple, that easy, that stupid.
I curse, more than I should. But never to be heard in public, such as at restaurants, into microphones and at baby namings.
I figure that such behavior would be anathema to group civility, especially kids, and would dishonor my family, myself and my career. Can’t help it. That’s the way I was raised. Shame on my parents.
And if there are those who think that I’ve missed the parade because I don’t cuss in public, that’s a valid criticism. But having just received a porcine heart valve, I prefer no further attachment to a pig other than my great regard for club sandwiches, mayo on the side.
That brings us to new ESPN hire Pat McAfee, a “regular guy” who unapologetically has just “gotta be me” by endlessly cursing on his popular “The Pat McAfee Show” on YouTube. Previously, he was in the employ, perhaps naturally, of young male suckers-reliant FanDuel, at a reported $120 million over four years.
McAfee, 36 an ex-NFL punter who also “keeps it real” by serving as a pro wrestling attraction, last week said that his declared move to ESPN upset many of his loyalists, who accused him of selling out. He complained, “Some of the things being said about me are very, very rude.” Imagine that.
But McAfee vowed to not completely betray his minions while under ESPN rule, which will pay him millions more to transfer his loyalists to the Disney-owned network — even if ESPN is in the process of again laying off longtime employees.
(Tuesday, ESPN assigned four “experts” to on-air duty during the NBA Draft Lottery. Not the draft, the draft lottery.)
McAfee has vowed that he will not compromise or be compromised. His stock in trade will remain his eagerness to attract and sustain a young male audience — those ESPN regard as making its world go ’round — with anything-goes obscenities.
Just not as much.
After boldly stating he “ain’t changing a damned thing” for ESPN, he contradicted that with, “We have decided we won’t be saying ‘f–k’ nearly as much, but every other word is good to go.”
In other words, McAfee can control what leaves his mouth en route to a microphone. He just chooses to go low as a matter of smart business.
In still other words, McAfee knows right from wrong, but as a matter of public career enhancement, he chooses wrong. And ESPN, which knows clean from dirty, in McAfee has knowingly chosen a professional slob even if he cuts back on saying “f–k” on ESPN’s time and dime.
How’s that for a deal that presumably has met with the approval of both parties?
Remember: ESPN is a Disney sports network. But also remember that Mickey Mouse is a rodent.
This is the backward, no-upside bag we’re in.
A player accidentally caught yelling “F–k!” on an NFL sideline? CBS and Fox will now show it in slow-motion to ensure no one missed it the first time. Why? You tell me.
Pete Alonso hits lots of homers and makes charity appearances thus he’s entitled to holler “F–k!” into Citi Field’s and SNY’s microphones? Try screaming that from your seat at a Mets game. If and when security arrives, employ the Pete Alonso Fan Club defense. See if that works.
The Rise 2 Greatness Foundation, ostensibly an altruistic non-profit organization to serve sports-minded kids previously known as Perfect Game Cares, has CC Sabathia on its Board of Directors.
Sabathia, throughout and beyond his MLB pitching career, was and is shamelessly given to speaking gutter obscenities — including crude terms for women — in public forums.
And Roger “It’s All About Our Fans” Goodell has personally seen to it that the Super Bowl halftime show is X-rated.
And now ESPN has proven, for tens of millions of dollars, that McAfee’s, ahem, vocabulary, a few weeks ago a firing offense, is a sound hiring strategy.
Upside? Many of us would now cut our losses and settle for sideways.
Where’s LeBron outrage for imprisoned Chinese national?
LeBron James, the all-knowing advocate for social justice — as long as it doesn’t mess with his made-in-China, Nike money — must’ve missed another one:
Yang Maodong, also a social justice advocate, has been sentenced to eight years in prison by a Chinese court for “inciting subversion of state power,” which means the Chinese Communist Party.
Yang, best known by his pen name Guo Feixiong, had been arrested after writing pro-democracy essays. It was his third such arrest since 2006. James and his pals at Nike and the NBA must’ve missed it.
You can’t see what’s coming if you refuse to look.
Karl Subban, the Jamaican-born father of the hockey’s three Canadian Subban brothers, has his eyes wide open. He has been critical of NHL stars such as Wayne Gretzky and the Maple Leafs’ Auston Matthews for appearing in TV ads that promote sports gambling:
“They’re using celebrities and superstars, and these are the people young people love,” Subban told the Montreal Gazette. “These superstars and celebrities, they are leaders. And you know what? Leaders influence others, leaders have followers.
“We want young people to continue to love their celebrities and superstars, but we don’t love everything they’re doing, and we don’t want them to love the fact that they’re promoting gambling.”
Several states, blinded by increased tax revenues in choosing to legalize sports gambling, are now considering legislation that would prevent celebrity endorsements of sports betting operations, as all are predicated on customers losing their money.
Sweeper or slider: It’s all the same
Two weeks ago on a Yankees telecast on YES, Michael Kay wisely noted that what this season has become a “sweeper” pitch is just a “fancy way to say slider.”
Yet he has returned to identifying pitches as “sweepers,” perhaps to coincide with what the pitch graphic reads.
On the other hand, Suzyn Waldman, all season over Yankees radio, has refused to imply that the sweeper is a newly invented pitch when it’s just a slider. She even bristles at the use of “sweeper.”
But just as the NFL misapplied “bye” as in “bye week” instead of what it is — an off-week — the media have swallowed it whole then passed it along.
From the corner of Ugly and Greed:
The Dodgers, already known as a prohibitively expensive team to support in person, are selling an “All Access Experience” to their June 3 game against the Yankees.
For just $900 per person, one can experience a catered pregame reception with Orel Hershiser, a parking pass and a box seat.
And for just $1,500 per person, the Dodgers will throw in a pregame visit with manager Dave Roberts and an autographed baseball. Welcome to Yankee Stadium West.
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Hiring obscenity-laden Pat McAfee shows just how low ESPN is willing to go - New York Post
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