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Back in March, Anthony Fauci invoked the Fourth of July holiday as a benchmark, a time when, if all went well, guidelines could relax, and so could Americans.
Now, despite some missteps, that prediction has largely proved true, and the fully vaccinated are able to (cautiously) gather with loved ones. But what if such reunions aren’t so relaxing after all? What if, socially speaking, this Fourth of July is a bit, well, uh, awkward?
I talked with two experts, both of whom have written a book on awkwardness. They explained to me that awkward moments occur when something deviates from our expectations. After a year in which our social norms were completely washed and tumbled dry, we are now trying to negotiate a new normal, Ty Tashiro, the author of Awkward, explained.
Melissa Dahl, who wrote Cringeworthy: A Theory of Awkwardness, wonders whether it’s always been this way—whether humans are inevitably awkward and time away from gatherings during the pandemic just helped us realize that.
So back to those barbecues. Should you get caught in an awkward regathering moment this weekend, here are Dahl and Tashiro’s combined tips for navigating it:
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Feel free to acknowledge it. “It’s totally okay to just say, ‘Hey, it’s pretty awkward getting back in social life, isn’t it?’” Tashiro says.
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Have awkward conversations in advance. Tashiro recommends asking friends what they’re comfortable with ahead of time. Are we staying outdoors? Are we hugging?
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Get out of your own head. Maybe take a cue from research on athletic performance, Dahl suggests, and focus on the big picture instead of yourself. “It sounds cheesy—but [it’s probably better to think of] an overall goal you have for the social situation you’re entering,” she says. Maybe that’s just to enjoy human connection.
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Try to have a sense of humor about it. Dahl told me that she used to be afraid of awkward moments, but today she’s fond of and even grateful for them. “They’re like little breaths of fresh air … a little like cracks in the facade. Like, Ah-ha-ha! You’re a dork like I am.”
More Atlantic advice ahead of this weekend’s festivities:
Contemplate your patriotism. Our happiness columnist points out that pride in your country can increase your well-being—and offers some advice for those who have complicated feelings about America right now.
Dig into United States history. Have we been misreading the Declaration of Independence all this time? What shameful truths lie buried in the document?
This Fourth, take the time to learn about the life of Prince Hall, a forgotten Black founding father.
Start a new book. Our summer reading guide contains 28 suggestions from our writers and editors, sorted by mood.
Watch a movie. If you’re looking to stream a new release, try In the Heights or Cruella. If neither of those fit the bill, hey, there’s always Independence Day.
Go for a dip. I keep returning to this essay on swimming in wild places.
Stay cool. Remember that this summer’s heat is not to be messed with. Be safe.
Every weekday evening, our editors guide you through the biggest stories of the day, help you discover new ideas, and surprise you with moments of delight. Subscribe to get this delivered to your inbox.
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